I’m so fed up with people trying to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. With people cooking up nasty stories behind my back, even though they only know half of who I am. With people trying to squeeze some kind of benefits out of what I am, only to then turn into a rotten pile of garbage inside my community.
For me, it’s clear: if someone crosses my boundaries—and especially if they do it more than once—they have to go. Whether that’s in streaming or in real life. I’m tired of all this crap.
At the same time, I also think that maybe I’m not quite there yet, and that’s why people like this still find their way into my life. I’ll definitely need to rethink a lot of things. A lot. Because I believe that as long as people like this keep finding me, there are still lessons I haven’t fully learned yet.
But I am learning this much: behavior like that has no place around me anymore.
For now, I’m trying to take the next few weeks more quietly. Maybe it was also pressure I was putting on myself.
By the way, after my crash yesterday, my doctor wants to see me every day until I’m safely in the clinic. No, I didn’t try to do anything—but these panic attacks and nervous breakdowns have to stop.
This year will be about healing. Nothing else.
Midnight Soul 