Many good things happened today — from my multistream to getting another appointment for the clinic.
I was also doing relatively okay today. I still can’t sleep well and everything still feels pretty numb, but at least I didn’t have to cry today.
That might sound a bit strange when I say it like that, but having a day without crying doesn’t actually feel that bad.
I’m trying to come out of my shell more, but at the same time I can feel that a lot is still holding me back. I urgently need this clinic, and I will also ask my doctor about some kind of medication that will finally let me sleep. No sleep combined with everything I’m carrying inside me is the worst possible combination.
I’m just grateful that our system here in Germany is so good, and that people like me can be properly supported if they want help.
I’m also really trying to rewire my worst-case-scenario thinking on a daily basis into believing that the best will happen. And I stand by that: the best will happen.
Everything will work out.
Everything will be okay again.
Midnight Soul 